Shelbyville Seventh-day Adventist Church

What does the Bible say about dating?

What kind of person should you date? It's in the Bible, II Timothy 2:22, TLB. "Run from anything that gives you the evil thoughts that young men often have, but stay close to anything that makes you want to do right. Have faith and love, and enjoy the companionship of those who love the Lord and have pure hearts."

It is unwise to date someone who doesn't love God. It's in the Bible, II Corinthians 6:14-15, TLB. "Don't be teamed with those who do not love the Lord, for what do the people of God have in common with the people of sin? How can light live with darkness? And what harmony can there be between Christ and the devil? How can a Christian be a partner with one who doesn't believe?" Amos 3:3, NKJV says, "Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?"

Don't date someone who claims to be a Christian but doesn't live it. It's in the Bible, I Corinthians 5:11, TLB. "What I meant was that you are not to keep company with anyone who claims to be a brother Christian but indulges in sexual sins, or is greedy, or is a swindler, or worships idols, or is a drunkard, or abusive. Don't even eat lunch with such a person."

Avoid dating people who have a bad temper. It's in the Bible, Proverbs 22:24, TLB. "Keep away from angry, short-tempered men, lest you learn to be like them and endanger your soul."

Don't date a lazy Christian. It's in the Bible, II Thessalonians 3:6, TLB. "Now here is a command, dear brothers, given in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ by his authority: Stay away from any Christian who spends his days in laziness and does not follow the ideal of hard work we set up for you."

Inner beauty counts the most. It's in the Bible, I Peter 3:4, TLB. "Be beautiful inside, in your hearts, with the lasting charm of a gentle and quiet spirit that is so precious to God."

Date someone with a good attitude. It's in the Bible, Romans 15:5-6, TLB. "May God who gives patience, steadiness, and encouragement help you to live in complete harmony with each other—each with the attitude of Christ toward the other."

Date someone who encourages you and is supportive. It's in the Bible, Philippians 2:1-2, TLB. "Is there any such thing as Christians cheering each other up? Do you love me enough to want to help me? Does it mean anything to you that we are brothers in the Lord, sharing the same Spirit? Are your hearts tender and sympathetic at all? Then make me truly happy by loving each other, working together with one heart and mind and purpose."

In a dating relationship don't be exclusive—care about others too. It's in the Bible, Philippians 2:4, TLB. "Don't just think about your own affairs, but be interested in others, too, and in what they are doing."

Let the relationship progress step by step. It's in the Bible, II Peter 1:6-7, TLB. "Next, learn to put aside your own desires so that you will become patient and godly, gladly letting God have his way with you. This will make possible the next step, which is for you to enjoy other people and to like them, and finally you will grow to love them deeply."

What to avoid on dates. It's in the Bible, Romans 13:13, TLB. "Be decent and true in everything you do so that all can approve your behavior. Don't spend your time in wild parties and getting drunk or in adultery and lust, or fighting, or jealousy."

Dating should not include a sexual relationship. It's in the Bible, I Corinthians 6:13,18, TLB. "But sexual sin is never right: our bodies were not made for that, but for the Lord…That is why I say to run from sex sin. No other sin affects the body as this one does. When you sin this sin it is against your own body."

Keep yourself pure. It's in the Bible, I John 3:3, TLB. "And everyone who really believes this will try to stay pure because Christ is pure."

To keep from hurting ourselves, sexual desires and activities must be placed under Christ's control. It's in the Bible, I Thessalonians 4:3-5, TLB. "For God wants you to be holy and pure and to keep clear of all sexual sin so that each of you will marry in holiness and honor—not in lustful passion as the heathen do, in their ignorance of God and his ways."

If you have already gone too far physically, what should you do?

First, acknowledge your sin. It's in the Bible, Psalm 51:2-4, TLB. "Oh, wash me, cleanse me from this guilt. Let me be pure again. For I admit my shameful deed—it haunts me day and night."

Second, ask forgiveness for your sin—God says you can start over again. It's in the Bible, Psalm 51:7-12, TLB. "Sprinkle me with the cleansing blood and I shall be clean again. Wash me and I shall be whiter than snow. And after You have punished me, give me back my joy again. Don't keep looking at my sins—erase them from Your sight. Create in me a new, clean heart, O God, filled with clean thoughts and right desires. Don't toss me aside, banished forever from Your presence. Don't take Your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me again the joy of Your salvation, and make me willing to obey You."

Third, believe that God has indeed forgiven you and quit feeling guilty. It's in the Bible, Psalm 32:1-6, TLB. "What happiness for those whose guilt has been forgiven! What joys when sins are covered over! What relief for those who have confessed their sins and God has cleared their record. There was a time when I wouldn't admit what a sinner I was. But my dishonesty made me miserable and filled my days with frustration. All day and all night Your hand was heavy on me. My strength evaporated like water on a sunny day until I finally admitted all my sins to You and stopped trying to hide them. I said to myself, 'I will confess them to the Lord.' And You forgave me! All my guilt is gone. Now I say that each believer should confess his sins to God when he is aware of them, while there is time to be forgiven. Judgment will not touch him if he does. You are my hiding place from every storm of life; You even keep me from getting into trouble! You surround me with songs of victory."

God has a mate for you. It's in the Bible, Genesis 2:18, TLB. "And the Lord God said, 'It isn'’t good for man to be alone; I will make a companion for him, a helper suited to his needs.'"

Ask the Lord for a mate. It's in the Bible, Proverbs 19:14, TLB. "A father can give his sons homes and riches, but only the Lord can give them understanding wives."

God will give you your heart's desires. It's in the Bible, Psalm 37:4 and Matthew 6:8, TLB. "Be delighted with the Lord. Then He will give you all your heart's desires." "Remember, your Father knows exactly what you need before you ask Him!"